At the end of my boys’ basketball and baseball seasons and after winning tournaments, there’s always the same ritual: each player is handed a trophy, parents snap a team photo of everyone holding up their prizes, and then we bring them home to be placed on dressers, where they collect a bunch of dust for the next few months….or okay, sometimes years.
As a parent, I can’t imagine any of those kids walking away without a trophy when it’s something they look forward to and expect every year. Maybe every player didn’t strike out the most batters or drive in the most runs, but I don’t see how you can give a few kids something cool and leave others empty handed. However, I also don’t know how accomplished the leading scorer can feel when the kid who airballed every shot is taking home the exact same prize as him.
It’s no wonder that it’s tough to choose which side of the fence to stand on in the “Everyone gets a trophy” debate. It seems unfair to recognize the kids who don’t play as hard as others, yet no one should walk away feeling like a loser. The argument could go on and on.
But last month after a baseball tournament in Hazelwood, I saw and heard something that led me to a decision. I was standing at the concession stand under a pavilion when I heard a nearby coach saying some pretty nice things to his players. I turned around and saw a team of boys, probably about 13 years old, surrounding a picnic table full of trophies. I don’t know if they had won or lost their games, because this coach’s focus wasn’t on how they performed as a team — it was on how they each performed as players. I watched him as he picked up each trophy and started talking.
“Now, this guy, he started the season pretty frustrated, “ he said. “But he kept working on leveling out his swing and ended up with a lot more hits than he had last year. Brad, here you go.”
He handed the trophy to the player and continued down the line.
“This guy kept a lot of runs from scoring this year. We were lucky to have him in center. Luke, here you go.”
“This guy’s speed has been an asset to us because his stolen bases led to quite a few runs. Matt, here you go.”
He went on to hand a trophy to every player as he explained how they contributed to the team. For some of them, he mentioned how much they had improved. For others, it was that they scored the most runs. I was so impressed by the way he was able to acknowledge that whether they were homerun hitters or skilled bunters, they had all done the work required to earn their rewards.
When I saw this coach’s method of handing out trophies, I was reminded that everyone likes recognition for their accomplishments. All of us do. Throughout practices and games, players are often told what they are doing wrong in hopes that they’ll improve next time, but each player also needs to be told what they did well so they can keep their heads up and strive to be an important member of the team. Because while many would say there is no “I” in TEAM, a team is actually made from a bunch of little “I’s.”
I’ve decided to stand on the side of the fence where everyone gets a trophy. Some kids may have only played a few minutes on the court, but made passes that led to baskets being shot. Some kids might have struck out twenty times, but caught several pop flies that kept runners off of bases. Kids develop skills at different ages and not everyone is an All Star, but at some point, all of them did something to contribute to the team’s success. And for that, everyone deserves the same reward.